Lifestyle Photography for Dating Websites | Portrait Photographer East Sussex

As a professional portrait photographer who works entirely on location, I enjoy a fantastic variety of assignments. No two shoots are ever the same and I relish the challenge of each new outing. I realise that kind of life isn’t for every photographer simply because coming up with ideas on the fly can be stressful. But I get a buzz from it, and the ethos of my business is to provide images unique to every client. Perhaps the best part of my job is the people I meet along the way, all of whom leave the sense that I’ve benefited from meeting them.

There are several sub-genres within the umbrella of portraiture. Portraiture will include photographs of families, children, babies, couples, teens, as well as personal branding (not forgetting business and corporate photography). Pet photography is also a significant part of my portrait business.

My work would broadly be defined as “lifestyle portraiture” because it includes an insight into the personalities and interests of my subjects. Photography for dating and personal connection websites is included in this group and is the subject of today’s feature.

Creating photographs for dating profiles will normally involve two key aims. Firstly I like to show something of my clients’ day to day existence, and of course their personality. Secondly I try to do this in a way which will appeal to the kind of people they would like to attract. I’ll illustrate this article with examples from a typical dating photography shoot captured earlier this year, where my client will be signing up with one or two high end dating and connection services.

Stand out from the crowd …

Grabbing the attention of a prospect is everything in the world of dating. A set of photographs showcasing your personality is the fastest way to get things rolling.

Everyone can look great in photos - an experienced photographer will know how to use light and natural posing to show you at your best.

The Importance of Authenticity in Dating Profile Photography

A crucial aspect of dating photography is realism and authenticity. There’s little point in creating glamorous, stylised high-impact photographs if that doesn’t reflect the real person in front of the lens. It would be entirely counter-productive (if not a complete waste of time) to produce a set of images which bear little relationship to reality. For dating purposes you’ll need recent photographs (taken within the last two years) showing the real you. If you show up bearing little resemblance to your online profile, your date probably won’t be very happy.

My aim is to show you at your best - as if you’re having a good day. I would always avoid extensive retouching on photographs destined for a personal profile or dating website. Whilst there’s nothing wrong with airbrushing temporary blemishes and stray hairs, wrinkle reduction and excessive teeth whitening is a definite no-no. Instead I’ll use good light and careful (but natural) posing to show off your best features. Dressing in your usual style is important too, but with a little extra polish. Adding in some of the things that are important to you can be a great idea, such as favourite hobbies and interests.

There is absolutely no doubt that high quality photographs will give any dating profile a significant advantage. These don’t always have to be professional images, but the general rule is the higher the quality of the dating site the better the photographs should be. Professional photographs will also inform viewers that you’re serious and that your standards are high. In turn, you’re more likely to attract the more discerning prospects whilst hopefully deterring those who might treat the process as a numbers game. This is far more important than creating images which will bring in a high number of likes.

My Approach to Dating Photography

I always start by having a chat with my clients about their aims and what they’d like to achieve from their session. I can be a good idea to create two lists. One list should cover how you’d like to portray yourself and the other list should set out the key attributes of your ideal companion. Are the two lists complimentary, or at odds with each other? Could you end up attracting the wrong kind of person? It goes without saying that your written dating profile needs to be authentic. A simple motto should be this - be proud of who you are, and don’t try to be something you’re not. You could be a thoroughly lovely person, but the slightest hint of exaggeration or deception can send potential new friends running for the hills. I’ve heard countless (albeit amusing) horror stories from my friends who have been in precisely that situation. Whilst mostly harmless, having our time wasted is more than a little annoying.

Authentic dating photography often involves photography in my client’s own environments, or places they’re most comfortable in. A favourite hobby creates variety in the photographs and plenty of opportunities to bring a bit of fun into the pictures. This can be anything from a country walk, bike ride, a game of golf, or anything my client might normally enjoy. If you have pets including them makes a lot of sense - at the very least you’ll weed out the people who aren’t keen on animals!

You’ll receive plenty of hints and tips before your shoot about how we can build variety into your session. Your online dating profile will usually be at its most effective if it contains several photographs. If you sign up with more than one dating website you might want to have a different set of images for each.

There’s no doubt that there’s been a proliferation of dating photography services in the last few years. This can range from the very basic - a quick half-hour set of snaps handed over within a couple of days, to the more considered images I set out to create for my own clients. My dating photography service is based on my usual location portrait sessions, except the photographs are delivered digitally (you’re welcome to order prints as well).

Dating Photography for the over 50s

If you’ve ever presumed that online dating is for the young, then think again! One of the most uplifting things I’ve learned from creating dating profile images over the years is that most of my clients have been in the over 50 age group. That applies equally to the over 60s and the over 70s as well. Later midlife is often seen as a golden age – we’re secure in who we are and we know what we want out of life. Children will have fledged and we can enjoy opportunities for socialising and travel like never before. More importantly, we know ourselves. We may be a little set in our ways, but knowing our own mind isn’t a bad thing.

There is no denying the value of wisdom and experience, something we reap in our 50s and 60s. Life will probably have thrown us some curveballs as well, perhaps a mid or later life divorce or bereavement. That doesn’t mean life has to stop indefinitely - it just means that we move on to a new chapter.

To illustrate this article I’m going to feature a dating photography session I did at the beginning of the summer. My subject is an absolutely gorgeous lady who is 62 years old - I had to do a double take when I first met her. Stunning by any standards, I really enjoyed photographing her in a pretty East Sussex village a few miles from Brighton.

A job in a literary field meant my client had a marvellous book collection. Some of those titles belie the fact that she’s also a very keen traveller. Collecting colourful pottery is another hobby, likewise gardening and a love of the countryside. Clues like this add so much to lifestyle imagery and bring a wonderfully warm and personal flavour to dating profile photographs.

A walk around the local village completed the set and gave us the variety we wanted. My dating photography clients always receive some tips about clothing and styling for their session. Unlike more formal or stylised portraiture, this will rarely involve professional hair or make-up. The idea is to look how you normally look, but with a little extra grooming.

You, as you are …

Dating and personal connection photography should always reflect the real you, as you are, in your own environment.

Online Dating Thoughts – Common Sense Musings

By way of disclaimer do bear in mind that I’m a photographer and not a life coach, so this isn’t expert advice. But with over five decades on the planet I’m never short of opinions. I’ve also picked up on some common themes from my friends who have successfully found their partners online. Don’t treat this as anything definitive, just anecdotal feedback from the people I’ve known over the years, and a few of my own personal perspectives.

Dating can mean different things to different people. For some, it’s a search for a new life partner. For others it might be a way of broadening their social circle in a way which is less structured and more light-hearted. What matters is that we appeal to prospects who have the same overall goals.

Realistic expectations are vital. To be clear, that doesn’t mean selling yourself short. Whilst no friend or prospective partner is ever going to be perfect, we shouldn’t be putting up with one-sided or controlling treatment from anybody. But it’s important to accept that we’ll probably need to compromise here and there. Ask any married couple who’ve been together for a number of years and they’ll probably tell you exactly the same! Compromise should never be a one-way street though, give and take is a two way process.

Contrary to conventional wisdom, in my experience first impressions can be a poor indicator of whether we’ll get along with someone. It’s all too easy to discard a prospect based on something trivial or a mere difference in opinion. There can be a lot more to someone than first meets the eye, or a lot less. It doesn’t help when a first date feels like the job interview from hell. Some ‘dating advisers’ or bloggers suggest a list of questions which are so cringingly intrusive (or at best tedious) that anyone wielding them would get short shrift from me. There’s something performative about that and we may end up trying to second guess what the other person is looking for in a friend. One thing I do believe in though is intuition. If you have a bad feeling about somebody, or about a situation – then listen to that internal voice.

First meetings should probably be relaxed and informal, with an easy get out route if things don’t go well. You’ll find all sorts of dating advice on the Internet, often telling you never to have a first meeting in a coffee shop. There might be some truth in that if a cafe is crowded and noisy, but somewhere relaxing with a pleasant walk nearby can be a really nice low-pressure way of getting that first meeting in the bag. It’s also easier to make an early exit from a coffee shop or art gallery than a more formal environment.

A reliance on texting, social media, email and other forms of online communication are the norm these days. However those methods may not be the right precursor to a meeting if they go on for too long. We can end up forming a picture of a potential companion in the absence of visuals, where the first meeting can then be anticlimactic. Like my friends who have shared their experiences, I’d much rather get to know someone face-to-face sooner rather than later - leaving the online stuff to fill in the gaps.

If you get along but you’re not sure if you want to continue the association, invoking the “three date rule” can be a good idea. You may discover that the person you initially felt was standoffish just needed a little time to gain his or her confidence. We have to remind ourselves that a lot of people find dating quite scary and nerves can get in the way.

On a more direct note, there is absolutely nothing wrong with dating several people at once. Throwing all our eggs into one basket too soon is risky and could mean that we’ve missed out on a more compatible prospect.

Rolling with the knockbacks is a given. Not every date is going to go well and we need to learn to get back up again and brush ourselves down. It’s not uncommon for a new prospect to bring some unresolved issues from a prior relationship to the table. This can be quite normal and it isn’t always a red flag – but be wary of anybody whose grudges play too big a part in their view of the world. Back in my dating years I met more than a few recently divorced or separated men who never tired of telling me what they thought of women, from the mildly insulting to the outright appalling. We all have bad experiences, but tarring everyone with the same brush is unhealthy. I can also recall one man who flatly refused to let me contribute my share of dinner, only to turn around and demand that I pay up three weeks later when I chose not to see him again. Remember - for every wrong match we meet, there are as many (if not more) genuinely nice people out there.

If we’ve been out of the dating loop for a while it’s all too easy to think we’re not young enough, interesting enough, attractive enough or rich enough to meet somebody who will value us. Yet at the same time we know that isn’t true - all we have to do is look around at our friends and acquaintances who are likely to cover a wide spectrum of looks and personality types and who are happily paired. The people I know who are the most successful in life and love aren’t the best looking, or the richest. Instead, they’re the ones who make their best effort to get out there and find fulfilment, whilst understanding that a few setbacks are inevitable.

Self-doubt can cripple us if we let it and I’ve always felt that emotional self-care is often very low on our to-do list. I tend to dwell on the things I feel I’m not good enough at, rarely acknowledging the things I manage to do fairly well. Seeking validation from others can be a downward spiral and is something many of us have grown too dependent on. Self-validation often takes a back seat, yet it can be crucial to our well-being. I’m not talking about the irritating mantra of ‘love yourself’, but instead an occasional reminder that we’re coping pretty well with life, even if things aren’t quite what we want them to be.

Taking some steps to improve our social lives can be daunting, and those first steps can be the hardest. There are times in life when we need to sell ourselves, and a set of professionally crafted pictures will get the ball firmly rolling. If you’d like to discuss some photos for dating and personal connection sites, pick up the phone for an informal chat.